Did you know gossip columnists are parenting experts?

Janet Charlton knows all about kids - see, the ONLY reason Katie Holmes is often seen carrying her small child must be some sort of pathology on Katie’s part. No one carries “tall” five year olds! THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG, you see. With Katie’s parenting, with Katie, whatever. Since we’re ignoring that this is a child and parent stalked by paparazzi who might be incredibly frightening to said child so ergo, her parent is carrying her for reassurance. Or any reason, really, since we are not Suri’s parents, nor do we see Suri for any real length of time to actually judge how much she walks or doesn’t … I hate to let facts and treating celebrities like actual human beings get in the way of Janet Charlton’s incredible! never heard before! story! of a woman who is a bad parent because she’s stupid and selfish. (That description was sarcastic.)